Forty-four years ago this month, I was standing on the sidewalk in front of Ruth Collins women’s dormitory at Baylor University, waving good-bye to my dad. Both of us had tears in our eyes. I remember it as if it were yesterday. I had just turned 18 and as I watched his car disappear around the corner, I was certain I had made a terrible mistake leaving home to go to college. Wasn’t TCU so close to my parents’ home that I could have walked there? Why, why, why did I feel like I needed to be “on my own?” Why did I think I needed to go to Baylor, when it meant borrowing so much money that it would take me ten years to pay back all my loans after graduating?
I remember thinking that maybe I could catch a ride home with someone else’s parents who had not left the campus yet. This was 1967. I couldn’t have called Dad on his cell or texted him to ask him to turn around and come get me. In fact, one of the things we had discussed on the way down to Waco was that I could call home once a week for three minutes from the pay phone in the dormitory lobby. You see, it was a long-distance call and long-distance calls were expensive. I was incredibly homesick, and I had only been away from home for about five minutes.
I remember thinking that maybe I could catch a ride home with someone else’s parents who had not left the campus yet. This was 1967. I couldn’t have called Dad on his cell or texted him to ask him to turn around and come get me. In fact, one of the things we had discussed on the way down to Waco was that I could call home once a week for three minutes from the pay phone in the dormitory lobby. You see, it was a long-distance call and long-distance calls were expensive. I was incredibly homesick, and I had only been away from home for about five minutes.
I was so focused on my miserable feelings during those terrible minutes that I almost forgot that Dad and I talked about homesickness on the drive to Waco. He had anticipated what I would be feeling. But, all I could remember him saying was what he always said about everything. How was his “usual advice” going to help me now? He said, “The Lord will guide you in these and other areas. Consult Him. If any hard decisions arise, and you don’t feel you want to talk to us about them, consider asking your pastor or another Christian adult to help.” Why can I remember this verbatim? I can remember these words because this wise man said them over and over to me as I was growing up and continued to say them to me in adulthood. He didn’t just say them. He lived them. When someone is consistent and doesn’t just say wise things, but practices them in their own lives, that person can be a powerful influence. So, what did I do when I remembered these words? I found a bush in the heavy landscape across the street from the dorm, knelt down behind it and prayed for the Lord to help me with my homesickness, to guide me, and help me be consistent with my words and deeds. I will be forever grateful for my parents.
Fast forward with me to August 2003. My husband and I are helping to move our oldest son into the dorm at Baylor. By now I know college is such a unique time in life that I am overpowering Daniel on the drive down to Waco with way too much advice about taking advantage of all the opportunities, studying hard, being respectful and teachable, holding on to his values, finding a church home, seeking Christian friends, developing adult mentors, etc., etc., etc. I wish I had just simply told him what my dad had told me. But, the Lord is merciful and fills in the gaps of wisdom my husband and I left behind. We couldn’t be prouder of both of our sons and the consistency with which they seek the Lord’s guidance and help in their lives.
My prayer is that you will follow my dad’s advice and seek the Lord’s guidance in all areas of your life. As for me, I am hanging on to the hope that assisted living/nursing homes will be a little like college only without the studying – living in the room next to your friends of the same age, same interests, with other people fixing your food!
Ruth Leverenz, UBC Adult & Friend to College Students
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