A Matter of Perspective

My friend Phil has cancer.

He’s had some different treatments with varying effectiveness and success, but now the cancer isn’t responding to any drugs. Without coming out and saying it, it’s like people are implying that his days are numbered. But since no one is saying that out loud, they’re certainly not venturing a number. At least not to me.

See, Phil has a kind of cancer that often kills a patient in about 6 months. But he was diagnosed a year ago. So while friends and family are thanking God for the gift of every extra day with him, it’s also like a dark cloud is hanging over each and every one of those days.

In the gentlest way I could, I recently dared to ask a third party what the outlook was now for Phil’s condition and life. With only the slightest delay came the reply, “The prognosis is good. Either a cure or Paradise.”

Oh. My. Wow.

I had never thought of it that way before. I’ve met some people who can find the cloud in any silver lining, but I’ve often claimed to be more of a silver lining person myself (though, admittedly, I’m no Pollyanna). And yet that answer gave me pause.

Nowhere in that answer was the denial of a horrible disease that is indiscriminant about whose lives it invades. Nowhere was the suggestion that the related struggles—physical, emotional, relational, financial, spiritual—were to be forgotten or dismissed. Nowhere was the naïve “there, there” response that people give when they spout platitudes like “God is in control” or “God never gives you more than you can handle.” But everywhere in that answer was hope. Everywhere in that answer was God.

And so I got to thinking and processing this. Why don’t I see more situations like this? Why does every bright side have to have its polar dark side? Rather than dwell on the dark side, why can’t we simply acknowledge the dark spots that would inevitably accompany two potential bright sides?

I don’t know what your situation is. This time of the semester is stupid busy and stressful. Family life can be crazy. Getting ready for Christmas can feel like an obligation in itself rather than an opportunity. But what’s your perspective about it all? What’s the dark side? What’s the bright side? Now, what’s the other bright side?

A cure or Paradise. Yes, I want that.

Kathy Raines, UBC College Minister